Star Wars: The Last Hope
by christos200
Summary: At story on the borderline between a Star Wars Parody and a serious Adventure. Mace Windu tries to escape the Empire, with the stolen plans, and in his way, he meets young Luke Skywalker, Brave Han Solo and his comrade Chewie, and faces the evil Empire.


In the black emptiness, two lines of blue text suddenly appear:

A long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far away...

They linger for a while, long enough that the average viewer can re-read them three, maybe four times.

Then they vanish.

Goddammit, I hate this part.

The title card's coming, I know it, and it's always loud and always scares the hell outta me.

Maybe not as bad as the THX sequence, but it's still pretty startling.

I suppose I could turn the volume down for it, since the movie starts with a big space battle anyway.

Hold on, do I have the surround sound on?

Doesn't matter, I just have to find the remote and then I can OH SH—

_DAAAA_

_Dd-la-daaa_

_Dd-la-Da da da DA da da Da da da DA da da_

_Da da DA DAAAAA-_

_Do Do Do_

**Star Wars: The Last Hope**

**It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.**

**During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.**

**Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Jedi Master Mace Windu races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can restore peace and freedom to the galaxy ...**

The Tantive IV, a CR90 corvette in the service of the Royal House of Alderaan, tries to escape its pursuers, two Imperial Star Destroyer's. The Imperial Star Destroyer's tractor beam slowly pulls the vessel into its dock and the rebel soldiers prepare for boarding by imperial troops. Mace tries to encourage his troopers.

Mace Windu: Try to kill as many troopers as you can, okay?

Soldiers: Yes Sir.

Mace Windu: Yes Great Master Windu, not Yes Sir, you motherfucker bastards!

A few minutes later a thousand of imperial, or motherfucker bastards as Mace would have said, soldiers enter the rebel spaceship. the Rebels put up a heroic resistance, but they are not able to hold out against the after the other, the rebels die. Mace tries to escape with the plans, when he is stopped by Darth Vader.

Darth Vader: You! You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! You will be arrested.

Mace Windu: Fuck you!

Darth Vader: The circle is now complete. When i left you, i was but the learner. Now i am the master!

Mace Windu: This motherfucker bastard thinks that he is a master? Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!

Darth Vader: Stop trolling me.

Mace Windu: Then let me escape!

Darth Vader: No, i have to take revenge for that day in the council.

Before some years:

Mace Windu: You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.

Anakin: What?

Mace Windu: I said, You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.

Anakin: What?

Yoda looks concernedly at Obi-Wan, who shakes his head as if to say "Here we go again...

Mace Windu: What star-system you from?

Anakin: What?

Mace Windu: What ain't no star-system I ever heard of! They speak Galactic Basic on What?

Anakin: What?

Mace Windu: GALACTIC BASIC, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

Anakin: Yes.

Mace Windu: Then you know what I'm saying!

Anakin: Yes.

Mace Windu: Describe what Master Yoda looks like.

Anakin: What?

Mace Windu: Say what again!

Anakin: What?

Mace Windu: Say WHAT again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherfucker! Say What one more goddamn time!

Anakin: He's green...

Mace Windu: Go on.

Anakin: He's short...

Mace Windu: Does he look like a bitch?

Anakin: No.

Mace Windu: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch?

Anakin: I didn't.

Mace Windu: Yes you did. Yes you did, Anakin. You and Chancellor Palpatine tried to fuck him like a bitch when you were put on this council!

Only Yoda don't like to be fucked by anybody, except democratically-elected council members.

Anakin: This is an outrage! You're being unfair!

Mace Windu: Take a seat, young Skywalker. Sit yo' ass down.

Anakin: Forgive me, Master.

Anakin sits down

Mace Windu: You a smart motherfucker, that's right! May the motherfuckin' Force be with us all...

After some years:

Mace Windu: You still remember that day?

Darth Vader: Yes! And i will take revenge!

Mace Windu: Take this you motherfucker!

Suddenly Mace kicks Vader in the face, and then runs towards the escape pods. Darth Vader, now being very angry, shouts at his soldiers.

Darth Vader: Catch him!

Mace Windu: If you catch me, i will let you fuck me.

As the Stormtroopers fire on him, Mace enters into one of the escape pods and escapes the ship. However on the bridge, Darth Vader makes a plan to kill Mace. A tall man, with a brown beard and blue eyes comes near Vader.

Man: Lord Vader, did you request me?

Darth Vader: Yes, shot with the ion cannons this motherfucking escape pod, as Mace would have said.

Man: Yes Sir!

Soon the ion cannons fire at the escape pod. The last words of Mace Windu, before seeing his escape pod being hit by the ion cannons, were " Now i am motherfucking dead". So the escape pod of our hero crashes in the jungle world of Doctor Whoniverse.

Next Part: Doctor Who?


End file.
